Trial

I haven't watched the local news in over a year. I might catch it every once in a while, but I do purposely try to avoid it. For a good reason.
I turned the t.v on today and seen the guy who killed my best friend and her babies(my babies).His face taking up the whole screen. The apartment. The coroner wheeling out a body. The details. It never gets easier.
They are choosing jury members. His trial starts Monday with an insanity plea. Is it wrong of me to want nothing to do with it. I don't want to attend it. I don't want to hear about it. I want it to be over. I don't really care what happens to him. There are a lot of people who think I should have a role in giving him what he deserves. But I really cant do it. I am numb to all of this. Please just say a prayer for everybody.